In Minnesota, holiday time is determined by the parenting time order, not by a default state rule that gives either parent an automatic right to a specific holiday. Disputes are common when an order doesn’t clearly spell out how Thanksgiving, Christmas or winter breaks are handled.

Unfortunately, the answer isn’t always straightforward, and gaining access may not be easy if there’s no established holiday schedule or the holiday schedule gives the other parent custody this year. 

Parenting Time Basics: What Rights Each Parent Has in Minnesota

Parents With Joint Legal Custody and a Standard Parenting Time Order

Joint legal custody gives both parents decision-making authority, but it does not control holiday time. The court-ordered holiday schedule always takes priority. If the order gives one parent Thanksgiving in even years, the other parent cannot unilaterally override the schedule.

Parents With Sole Physical Custody but Shared Legal Custody

Sole physical custody means the child lives primarily with one parent, but it does not allow that parent to overrule a court-ordered holiday schedule. If the order gives the noncustodial parent specific holiday time, the custodial parent must follow it.

Parents With Sole Legal and Sole Physical Custody

This arrangement is less common, but when it does occur, the parenting time order usually lists limited or supervised time for the other parent. Holiday access depends entirely on what the order says. If the order does not provide holiday time, the custodial parent may not be required to offer it. If holiday time is included, it must be honored unless the court intervenes.

When There Is No Parenting Time Order

Some separated parents never formalize a schedule. Without a court order, neither parent has enforceable holiday rights, which means disagreements are common around major holidays. In these situations, parents often seek a temporary or expedited order.

How easily an order can be obtained varies, but holidays do get busy, and reduced court staffing can slow down the process.

How Holiday Schedules Override Regular Parenting Time

Minnesota parenting time orders almost always give holiday schedules priority over weekly routines. This means holiday periods replace:

• Alternating weekend schedules
• Midweek visits
• School-year rotations
• Standard pick-up and drop-off times

If a parent normally has every-other-weekend but the order gives the other parent Christmas Day, the holiday schedule takes precedence. This prevents double-booking and ensures children can spend holidays with both parents according to the order set by the court.

In other words, if Thanksgiving falls on your week, but the holiday schedule gives your ex Thanksgiving this year, then your children go with your ex.

What Happens When Orders Are Vague or Do Not Mention Holidays?

Many older or informal orders do not list specific holidays. Others use broad phrases like “reasonable parenting time” or “shared holiday time,” which can mean different things to different parents. Common problem areas include:

• No specific start and end times for holidays
• Confusion between “winter break” and a specific holiday
• Language that conflicts with the weekly schedule

Parents in these situations may want to request schedule clarification or a short-term holiday order when the language is too vague to follow.

Can a Parent Block Holiday Time Because of Travel or Last-Minute Plans?

A parent usually cannot change or block the holiday schedule because of their own plans. For example, if it’s your year for Christmas with the kids, your ex can’t unilaterally change the schedule because they want to travel out of state with the child or they have family visiting from out of town.

Unless the other parent agrees, one parent cannot trade, cancel or modify the holiday schedule on their own.

When a child is sick, the specifics of the parenting time order and medical considerations typically guide what happens, not a parent’s personal preference.

When a Parent Claims Safety Concerns Over the Holidays

If a parent has genuine safety concerns, they may seek court action such as supervised exchanges, modified parenting time or temporary restrictions. But disagreements over parenting style, travel plans or holiday traditions do not automatically justify denying holiday access.

Options When an Ex Refuses to Follow the Holiday Schedule

Compensatory Parenting Time

Courts can award make-up time when a parent loses court-ordered time. For example, if a parent is denied Christmas Eve due to refusal by the other parent, the court may grant compensatory time later.

Clarification or a Temporary Holiday Schedule

If the order is unclear or contradictory, courts can issue clarifications or create a temporary schedule for the season.

Emergency or Expedited Relief

When a parent is actively being denied holiday time that is clearly ordered, courts sometimes allow expedited review depending on the circumstances.

Practical Steps Parents Can Take During Holiday Disputes

The remedies available to you are highly dependent on your ability to prove your ex violated a standing agreement. This means you should always:

• Save texts or emails about holiday plans or cancellations
• Keep a copy of the parenting time order handy
• Document your own attempts to follow the schedule, including time and dates of communications
• Keep a record of any last-minute changes or refusals

Do You Want to Speak With a Family Law Attorney Experienced in Custody Disputes?

Holiday conflicts often happen when orders are unclear, when parents disagree about what the schedule means or when one parent repeatedly interferes with court-ordered time. If you want guidance on your specific situation, the Minnesota Lawyer Referral and Information Service can connect you with an attorney who handles custody and parenting time matters in the Minneapolis and St. Paul area. Speak with one of our referral counselors by calling (612) 752-6699 or using our self-referral service.